Friday, April 29, 2011

Guest Post: Frenemies

Ladies and Gents, it is time again for a Guest Post from my good friend over at Ghostman on 3.  I'm sorry I've been so absent, but maybe this small exchange of fightin' words will make up for it.  This is how we spend our precious evenings conversing with each other.  For real.
The Twitterverse is all abuzz this morning, following the announcement from @ajakz of an old-fashioned street fight, aka dance-off, between herself and @jambon3. While the challenge appears to be nothing more than some "friendly competition," rest assured these things never end nicely. Feelings will get hurt, asses will be made, muscles will be pulled. It's not going to be pretty. But, then again, what duals are??
So, how did this all transpire?? Was @jambon3 provoking @ajakz, attempting to take advantage of @ajakz's recent knocked-upness? Was @ajakz bluffing, knowing all along she has a massive advantage (i.e., years of dance experience vs. @jambon3's years of watching Soul Train and The Grind on TV and subsequent failed attempts to replicate moves in public)? Was this just all for publicity to promote @ajakz's new movie or @jambon3's new t-shirt? Was this just an attempt to overshadow the "reason for the season," i.e., Daina? Was this the result of drunken text messages? Who will be the Vegas favorite to bring the title home? Will the world be able to pick sides without feeling guilty?
Anyways-the original question was, how did this all happen? It kind of (verbatim) went down like this:
Joy: "....I can't stand the thought of being on the receiving end of your infamous 'stank eye.' Pls smile &get drunk with me!!
AJ: "I told you, I'm going with the flow. It is so fucking on. Word."
Joy: "are you interested in bars or clubs Saturday night? Do u have any recommendations?"
AJ: "Doesn't matter. A bar with a tv would be nice, so I can unleash my inner redneck and check on the race."
Joy: "Ohhh. I don't even know who you are anymore...."
Joy: "Clubs do kind of suck....I'm a baseball gal, meself."
AJ: "Hmmmm, I can still bust a move with the best of 'em."
Joy: "Dance off!!!"
AJ: "Oh hell to the Yes Ma'am! Bring it."
Joy: "Oh Imma bring it. Its been brought (COD, though)"
AJ: "Imma let you finish, but I'm the best dance in the world."
Joy: "They call me Beyone at work...Just so you know.."
AJ: "Beyone? Is that like Beyonce? But the white version?"
Joy: "Dick"
Joy: "Beers"
AJ: "Dick beers? They make those? LOL"
Joy: "Gross. I hope not. Lol hard, tho."
Joy: "Oh. Ha. Just saw your Kayne joke. Love it!!"
AJ: "I love it, too!"
Joy: "Seriously, though. I've been accepted to this elite dance school but have befriended some African Americans who have been tring to teach my how to be cool and less white. Basically, I've got moooooves. I learnt them on th streets.."
AJ: "Maybe we can have a preview Friday before our big dance off Saturday in da cluuub."
Joy: "Hmmm...that would then give you time to practice...ehh..I guess I could hold back some.... Done."
AJ: "Oh, don't hold back on my account. I'm gonna go all Usher on your ass. Would say Britney, but she's cray-cray."
Joy: "Never! I'm bringing my meat dress, my scars from bashing Rhiana's face in, &my Justin Bieber harcut Sat nite & will probably do nothing more than embarrass myself."
AJ: "I'm coming in an egg/embryo."
Joy: "I'm going to just appear...there may be an explosion and some lights or something, but I will seemingly appear from fire...."
AJ: "I'm going to wear a big snake."
Joy: "I'm going to light my jheri curl in fire &pee my pants on-stage. I may or may not lip-synch my greatest hits."
AJ: "Well I'm gonna get fat and then go on Jenny Craig, the be on Dancing with the Stars and make out with Madonna at the mtv awards."
AJ: "I might even commission Weird Al to make a parody of the whole thing."
Joy: "I'm going to shave my head and go pantiless. I might dance at some point, while I pretend to not be married to Jay-Z."
So, as you see, it began very friendly and quickly turned durrrrty. And by dirty, I mean ridiculous. But, let's not be distracted by all the hype. Because there is going to be hype. Let's just focus on one thing: Are you Team Joy or Team AJ? You can't be both, and you can't choose neither. It's kind of like the ultimate "Sophie's Choice" but set in the lovely Charleston, as opposed to the Holocaust...
This Dance Off will commence Saturday night, or sometime this weekend.  One of us will post pictures- I think you know it probably won't be me, but I will try!  Have a good one!

1 comment:

  1. I couldn't have said it better myself... Hope you aren't too disappointed in my "no-show" for the dance off.. How about I hire Rocky's trainer, drink some raw eggs, paint a fence, and come to Daina's wedding prepared for the show-down of the century??

    Am I too late? Are you going to "blow me off" due to my history of bluffing? Can I really bring it? Are you completely over me? Should I just shut up??

    To Be Continued...Maybeee...