Thursday, December 16, 2010

Court Is Now In Session

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury,

Before I plead my case, let me tell you that I am a fine, upstanding member of society.  Anything you may or may not hear from the defendant is total bullshit... erm, maybe.

I come to you today to ask that you find my husband, Jax, GUILTY.  Today I will prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt that he deserves to be punished severely.  And for what, you may ask?  He read my journal. 

I choose to call it a journal because diary sounds so, I don't know, high school or something.  The fact is, I wrote in this in my "wilder" days simply because I was having so much fun that I thought it would make a good book.  Or a movie.  Starring Reese Witherspoon Lindsay Lohan Jennifer Aniston as AJ.  Or something like that.  I hadn't really given it much thought.

I have suffered MENTAL ANGUISH.  Also known as SEVERE EMBARASSMENT.  Because ooohhhhhhh the stories that journal holds.  I will not repeat them because as I already told you, I am a fine, upstanding member of society.  Although, if I did find something particularly entertaining I might be bribed into releasing it.

But it is Jax who is on trial here, not me!  So, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what say you?  I would like a verdict.  And if found guilty, a recommendation for a suitable punishment.  Please and thank you.

*If he had access to argue his case, he might mention that I left it in the file cabinet where any doofus could find it.  And there isn't a lock.  And it is damn hilarious.


  1. Definitely Guilty! However in order to determine the appropriate punishment for his crime we're going to read some of the literary evidence!

  2. I must concur with Pippy. Not about the guilty part, because I believe he was just exercising a natural curiosity-one that we all have partaken in before and were lucky enough to not be caught; but I believe you should mos def share some entries. I prefer the more embarrassing one’s, as opposed to the Judy Blume “I just got my period” shit.

    Please, grant us this one Christmas wish and give us just a glimpse into your darkest secrets!! This is a safe place. We’re all here to support you. No one is going to judge you openly to your face or on their blog or anywhere. Nope. We’ll just keep it all inside, along with that warm satisfaction of knowing our secrets really aren’t that bad after all.


  3. Guilty! But who could resist, right? We want the stories!!

  4. Hmmm, how about I think about it over the weekend? We are talking stuff from several years ago, so I don't even remember what all is in there.... and the things I DO remember, I'm not sharing! Mainly because there are people who read this blog who know me and might know others that are mentioned LOL