Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I'm Going Straight to Hell

Probably for a multitude of reasons, but we will stick with one today.  And for those of you who know you are going with me, if you head down first please keep the keg cold*.  Smashing.

I'm lazy.  That is totally a sin, right?  Wasting the precious amount of time that we have on this earth.  Actually, I think sloth has a little more to do with being lazy in your spiritual life, but whatevs. 

Yep, that is me.  Lazy.  I finished my MBA while I was in my last few days (yes, days) with Little J.  Then I finished my Certificate in Healthcare Administration in the first few weeks of his life.  And now?  I do nothing.  Nothing but sit behind a desk and hope that the career of my dreams with come bursting through the computer screen and smack me in the face at any moment.

And I sit.  Then I drive... an hour and a half each way to work every day.  I sit.  I'm lazy.  Lazy in my physical activity, lazy in my intellectual thought processes.  I'm wasting my time and wasting away.

Oh, and did I mention that I am unhappy with my weight?  Well, realistically, what woman isn't?  I still have several- and we will leave it at that- pounds of baby weight to lose.  At what point can you no longer use the excuse, "I just had a baby?"  And trust me, sitting ALL.DAY.LONG will not make the pounds come off.  I've tried.

So to summarize, I sit on my fat ass all day thinking of nothing significant.  Which, come to think of it, is probably why I started this blog.  Because I'm bored.  I pretty much live for weekends when I can go out of town to football games or clean my house or something that makes me feel relatively normal.

This morning I told Jax that it was imperative that I change this routine, as much as I can at this point anyway.  Nothing can be done about work and the drive, but I do believe that I am going to attempt Couch 2 5K to lose the weight and tone up.  Several bloggers that I read are doing this and I'm thinking about trying it.  So much so that I downloaded the app onto my Blackberry this morning!  Yay for first steps!

Now, to be completely honest, I'm not the best runner.  I used to run, but I have a bad knee.  When I told my Mama about my plan the conversation went something like this:

Me:  I know you are going to say this is a bad idea, so why don't we skip the dramz and get down to business.  I'm going to attempt to start running again.

Mama:  I'm not going to say it is a bad idea.  I fully support you.  Just remember that you have a bad knee.

Me:  Aww shucks, Mama!  Sugarysweetcupcakesprinkles!

Mama:  But honey, you run like Phoebe (from Friends, see blurry image below).  You just aren't very graceful.

The One Where Phoebe Runs, Season 6 Episode 7- Friends

Meh.  So what?  If I fall down or something I will be sure to post a pic of my battle scars.  And I'm sure that they will totally make me seem badass when I'm drinking draft in Hell.

*Y'all, I do go to church.  Swear.  Okay, I've missed a few Sundays, but I do still go.


  1. That seriously blows your commute is 90 minutes each way. I would go insane in my car for that long of a period 5 days a week.

    I say after I pop this kid out in april you and I do a round of p90x together :)

  2. I don't think you are going to hell for being lazy. Set goals and take baby steps to achieve them.

  3. I would like to respectfully disagree with the above comment. Laziness is totes hell-worthy. And you don’t want to end up there. I hear they serve warm PBR-still in the can. They don’t even use glasses (gasp)!

    I am most concerned with the comment you made about living for the weekend. While that is completely normal, my concern lies within what you actually look forward to doing. Football-that’s ok, but what is going to happen to you when the season is over?! But, cleaning your house?! Seriously??! Feel you may be going off “the deep end.” Wonder if maybe you should download an app for something “stronger” than exercise…

    As for your running…style… It is rather unconventional and rather odd. I actually don’t even think I would call it running. Maybe “gallop” or “trot” would be more accurate. I think if you considered the bounce along with the distance traveled, you actually double exercise/expend more calories than the average person. Bravo! But, I still wouldn’t do it in public. Unless you like attention and ridicule…

  4. I'm lazy too. That's why I want a treadmill. I won't actually go outside to run. I'd rather do it in my living room in front of the tv.

    Oh, that episode of Friends is hilarious!