Where I Come From

I'm from Smalltown, South Carolina.  For those of you who don't know where this is, it is near Charleston.  Sometimes I hate it.  But then there are days when I'm driving home after work and the sun is setting through the trees causing rays of warm sunlight to filter down.  It really is beautiful.  I am thankful for these moments when I can stop to appreciate something so simple. 

Fall evenings are spent gathered around a fire pit with an ice cold beer or maybe a glass of red wine.

Neighbors will give you homemade bread or sweets just because.

We love monograms... a lot.

Snow is a big deal.  We find it utterly delightful.  And we enjoy it until it is merely dirty slush covering the frozen ground.

We wait all year for football season to come around and share it with our closest friends and family- even those that we only see during this special time of year.

The beach is a safe haven and the river is our waterpark. 

Sunday mornings were made for strolling through the yard with a cup of coffee before getting ready for church.

Nowhere is more peaceful than sitting on the front porch in a rocking chair and listening to nature.  The rocking chairs are nicely complimented by coffee or wine, depending on the time of day.

The smell of fresh cut grass can rejuvinate you after a long day.

Christmas is celebrated with huge gatherings.  Everyone comes together and remembers those that are no longer with us, toasts old friends, and promises to not let life get in the way of seeing each other more often.

People will smile and say good morning/afternoon or ask how you are doing even if they have never laid eyes on you before.

It is so easy to stop and pick out these tiny little details of life, but most days we are too busy with the day to day.  This is where I come from.  And I'm proud to say that it is a part of who I am. 

Worn Out

Christmas is big times, y'all.  Now I am just exhausted.  It was great, though!  I hope you can all say the same. 

Little J decided that he would give me three special gifts:  longer naps (word), sitting up (finally), and sleeping on his stomach.  Hold the phone... I totally did not request the latter.  Oh well, what can you do?

Seriously, I think I'm so tired that I can't even think of what to write.  We will go with this instead...

This little sign is in my kitchen.  It cracks me up.

Little J at his first oyster roast, which just so happens to be

the First Annual Jax Christmas Eve Oyster Roast.

Merry Christmas, Mama!  I'm sleeping on my tummy! 

(FYI, Sleep Sack, not a blanket)

I got a big boy toy!  VROOOM!  I haz happiness!

AJ haz happiness, too!  (times 2, thank you Mama and Jax!)

"The State" = The most awesome old MTV show EVAH.

Adorable, just adorable.

Oh yeah, and y'all, IT SNOWED!  Not stick to the ground snow, but honest to God big fluffy snowflakes!  It was wonderful.  Combine that with family, chili, and a nice afternoon nap and I had the most perfect end to Christmas that I could have imagined.

*These pics were all taken on my phone.  I swear I have a real camera.  And I use it.  If I think about it, I will post better pics later.  Don't hold your breath, it might take me a while.

Merry Almost Christmas!

I am not sure how often I will be posting over the holiday.  If something totally cool and awesome happens, I will be sure to stop in and inform you.  For example, if Santa Claus sets off the alarm or Duke catches a reindeer, you will be the first to know.  Swear.

Please have a happy and safe holiday.  If you are traveling, watch out for bad drivers and those who have partied too much.  Enjoy your family and friends.  Stay warm!  And if you get snow, you damn well better not tell me about it because I am crazy jealous.

Take a moment to remember the reason we celebrate.  And if you don't believe in that kind of stuff, just take a moment to reflect on all of your blessings.  Please also keep in mind those that are less fortunate and those who can't be with their families because they continue to fight the battles for our freedom.  Feel free to shed a tear for the loved ones you've lost, but smile at how much joy they brought to your life.

I hope you all get what you are wishing for this Christmas, whether it be snow (ahem, me) and iPad (me again) or a closet full of designer bags and shoes (that would be me, too). 

Peace, love, and happiness to you and your family!  Merry Christmas!

I Am A Rockstar

Hotpants over at Handbags and Handguns has confirmed my status with this

Y'all, I am super excited!  First of all, two things that are completely awesome and totally go together... handbags and handguns.  Right up my alley, as I'm sure you've noticed from previous posts.  Second, Hotpants and I both want to be BFFs with Britney Spears.  And now, this goddess of celebrity gossip thinks I am a rockstar.  My day can't get any better.  Thank you Hotpants!!!  Oh yeah, and y'all check her out because she is awesome and always has the best celeb dirt.

So what else makes me a rockstar?  Let me give you an example.  See this?

This is a Mini

Yep, that is what I rocked fireside at a party last weekend.  But did I drink out of the bottle?  Hell to the No.  Well, yes and no.  I had a super festive Christmas straw in the bottle.  Yep, bubbly out of a straw.  Rockstar status once again confirmed.

And you know what else?  This.

Duke last year when we had snow.

Gratuitous picture of my sweet baby puppy badass dog.  Booyah.  Rockstar. 

So, I still haven't wrapped any presents yet.  I'm still trying to bribe someone who knows what they are doing into doing it for me.  Hint HINT, Jax.  Besides, my leetle one was ailing last night.  He had a slight fever.  He is fine today, thankfully. 

Three more days till Christmas!  Am I the only one who is counting down like a 5 year old?  Please tell me no!

And The Shining Stones Winner Is...

Thank you to everyone who entered my giveaway!  I sincerely wish that I had enough dough in the bank that I could give each and every one of you a gift certificate to Shining Stones.  Actually, I wish I had enough to give you all a Benz or a Louis Vuitton purse or a trip to Australia because that would mean that I was like Oprah... mega-rich with my very own talk show.  Alas, it is just me and my leetle ole blog.  BUT I can still give you Shining Stones, y'all!  So, want to know who won?

Since there were some who did not leave separate comments, I decided to just put all of your names in a shoe with the correct number of entries and draw one instead of using Random.org.  And the winner is......

Jenny from Life After Yes!

Yay, Jenny!  I will contact you soon to give you the details on how you can redeem your gift certificate. 

I would also like to give a big thanks to Ellie.  She has been so wonderfully easy to work with and she makes gorgeous jewelry.  I sincerely hope that you will all check out her shop.

Hopefully, you have all gotten your shopping done!  I am almost through.  Now for the wrapping.  Ugh.  My most dreaded task.  I will be spending my evening under piles of shiny paper and curly-Q ribbon.  If you don't hear from me tomorrow, I implore you to please send help.  In the event that I survive, there might be pictures tomorrow.  I can't promise that it will be pretty!

Five Things I Must Have at Work

I love these things and must have them every.single.day.  If one of these items is missing from my day, I totally can't function.

1.  Lip Gloss.  I love it.  I need it.  It gets me through the day because even though I'm at work I can feel pretty. 

Burt's Bees Lip Balm, MAC (Plus Luxe), Cover Girl Fruit Spritzers (Raspberry Splash)

2.  Hand Sanitizer.  Because, duh.



3.  Gum.  Doesn't really matter what kind, but clearly I prefer these little Ice Breakers Ice Cubes things.

Ice Breakers Ice Cubes (Wintergreen Splash and Mango Kiwi Cooler)

4.  Aveeno Hand Lotion.  Anytime I have to deal with lots of paperwork it makes my hands feel gross.  This makes them all better.

5.  I would really love to drink coffee all day, but I think our office coffee pot is gross.  So I drink green tea instead.  AND I found this awesome Candy Cane green tea.  It is pretty good and definitely festive!

Celestial Seasonings (Candy Cane Lane) and Lipton Green Tea

Are you bored to tears yet?  This is right up there with those "what's in your purse" games.  Blah.  Sorry people, but there is a lesson to be learned here.  Sometimes life, much like this post, sucks.  You have to take the good with the bad, right?

Hopefully, overall you find good.  In your life and in my blog. 

And, as if you could forget, we have a giveaway going on!  A $35 gift certificate to Shining Stones!!!  There is a gorgeous Smoky Swarovski Crystal ring that I will be purchasing as a Christmas gift to myself right after Christmas.  I can't wait! 

There are not too many entries right now, and I'm sure y'all would like to keep it that way because it increases your odds of winning, right?  Well, from now until I draw on Monday, any new follower who names you as the one who pointed them in my direction will gain YOU an extra entry. 

Happy Friday, y'all!

Court Is Now In Session

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury,

Before I plead my case, let me tell you that I am a fine, upstanding member of society.  Anything you may or may not hear from the defendant is total bullshit... erm, maybe.

I come to you today to ask that you find my husband, Jax, GUILTY.  Today I will prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt that he deserves to be punished severely.  And for what, you may ask?  He read my journal. 

I choose to call it a journal because diary sounds so, I don't know, high school or something.  The fact is, I wrote in this in my "wilder" days simply because I was having so much fun that I thought it would make a good book.  Or a movie.  Starring Reese Witherspoon Lindsay Lohan Jennifer Aniston as AJ.  Or something like that.  I hadn't really given it much thought.

I have suffered MENTAL ANGUISH.  Also known as SEVERE EMBARASSMENT.  Because ooohhhhhhh the stories that journal holds.  I will not repeat them because as I already told you, I am a fine, upstanding member of society.  Although, if I did find something particularly entertaining I might be bribed into releasing it.

But it is Jax who is on trial here, not me!  So, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what say you?  I would like a verdict.  And if found guilty, a recommendation for a suitable punishment.  Please and thank you.

*If he had access to argue his case, he might mention that I left it in the file cabinet where any doofus could find it.  And there isn't a lock.  And it is damn hilarious.

Here We Come A-Wassailing!

This is going to be chock-full of good information, so be sure to pay close attention.

Philosopher, I am not.  Now, PhilosophIZER, that's more up my alley.  (BTW, I didn't know that was a real word, I thought Derek Zoolander made it up.  Whatevs.)  Anyway, see if you can follow this A+B=C philosophizing.

1.  To Wassail means To Carol
2.  Wassail is also an Alcohol Treat

So, it stands to reason that the carol "Here We Go A-Wassailling" is ambiguous, correct?  Here is the proof:

Here we come a-wassailing
Among the leaves so green;
Here we come a-wand'ring
So fair to be seen.

Carolling?  Drinking?  From reading those lyrics I think possibly both.  So I say, let's all get our Wassail on!  Woot Woot!  And in case you were curious, here is a recipe for Wassail courtesy of Alton Brown (the first recipe I found was from the Pagan/Wiccan site, thought that was interesting).  Skip all of the purple if you don't care.

Ingredients

• 6 small Fuji apples, cored
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 1 cup water
• 72 ounces ale
• 750 ml Madeira
• 10 whole cloves
• 10 whole allspice berries
• 1 cinnamon stick, 2-inches long
• 1 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1 teaspoon ground nutmed
• 6 large eggs, separated

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Put the apples into an 8 by 8-inch glass baking dish. Spoon the brown sugar into the center of each apple, dividing the sugar evenly among them. Pour the water into the bottom of the dish and bake until tender, about 45 minutes.  Pour the ale and Madeira into a large slow cooker. Put the cloves, allspice, and cinnamon into a small muslin bag or cheesecloth, tied with kitchen twine, and add to the slow cooker along with the ginger and nutmeg. Set the slow cooker to medium heat and bring the mixture to at least 120 degrees F. Do not boil.  Add the egg whites to a medium bowl and using a hand mixer, beat until stiff peaks form. Put the egg yolks into a separate bowl and beat until lightened in color and frothy, approximately 2 minutes. Add the egg whites to the yolks and using the hand mixer, beat, just until combined. Slowly add 4 to 6 ounces of the alcohol mixture from the slow cooker to the egg mixture, beating with the hand mixer on low speed. Return this mixture to the slow cooker and whisk to combine.  Add the apples and the liquid from the baking dish to the wassail and stir to combine. Ladle into cups and serve.

I don't know about you, but I'm going to Wassail my ass off for Christmas celebrations!  Is that wrong?  And I use the term "Wassail" in the "drinking" sense because I can honestly tell you that I won't be trying this recipe.  Mainly because I don't feel like going through the hassle when I can just open a bottle of wine. 

Have I cluttered your brain with enough mindless drivel for one day?  Awesome.  Don't forget to enter the giveaway below if you haven't yet!  And because I've been so ridiculous today, I will leave you with this:

How cute are those leetle red shoes on my sweet boy?

Shining Stones Giveaway!

Before we get to the good part, there are a few things you should know:

1.  Apparently, Jax thought I was making oatmeal for the reindeer, hence the need for water.  Even more awesome, my Mama said they would "shit gold logs."  I love you, Mama.

2.  I'm an attention whore.

3.  I completely adore Shining Stones- which I found on SITS, ohbytheway.

Shining Stones is an Etsy shop owned by Ellie.  Not only is this chick talented, but she is SO super sweet.  And since I adore every single last one of you too even though I may or may not know you I'm going to give one of you $35 to spend at Shining Stones!  Yep, that was one sentence.  So, just in case it got lost somewhere in there...

One of you lucky people is going to win a $35 gift certificate to Shining Stones!

When I ordered from Ellie, I realized that this would be perfect for a giveaway.  And since we know that I'm an attention whore (please see #2), I made it happen.  Booyah.  Anyone following my logic?  Let me explain.

You can enter my giveaway by doing one or all of the following (please leave a separate comment for each entry):

1.  Become a follower.  If you are already a follower, then just leaving me a comment.
2.  Follow me on Twitter, @ajakz, and tweet me.
3.  Tweet about my giveaway and tag me in it.
4.  Mention and provide a link to the giveaway on your blog.



Easy Peasy!  I feel like Santa Claus!!! 
*Winner will be drawn on December 20th.

Reindeer Food

Let me see if I can correctly remember this conversation...

Me:  Little J and I are going to make Reindeer Food on Christmas Eve to leave out for Santa's reindeer!

Jax:  What is Reindeer Food?  What do you mean?

Me:  It is oatmeal and gold glitter.

Jax:  Reindeer can't eat glitter.

Me:  No, the glitter shines and shows them how to get to our house.  Then they eat the oatmeal while Santa is leaving toys.

Jax:  Wait, so do you add water?

Me:  Ummm, no.  Why would we add water?

Jax:  So, what do you do, put it in baggies?  Is it real glitter?  What are you talking about?

Me:  We are going to put it in baggies for him to give to his friends, but we are also going to put it in our yard.  And yes it is REAL glitter!  And oatmeal!  For the reindeer to eat!

Jax:  If I see you come home with a big box of oatmeal I'm going to hide it from you until after Christmas.

Scrooge.  Whatevs, we are totally doing it anyway. 

Reindeerz gotta EAT, y'all.

I just realized that Christmas is like two weeks away.  And I still have the majority of my shopping to do.  Including ONLINE shopping.  Oh my, this is so not like me. 

HALP!  HALP!  PANIC!  CHAOS!  Good Lawd, I'm going to need a Valium to make it through the next two weeks.  Especially if I keep having conversations like that with my husband.

You Might Be a Redneck If

You get your Concealed Weapons Permit while you are 5 months pregnant.  Yep, I did that.  But I don't think I'm a redneck, just an overachiever.

So, why a CWP?  Just because.  I don't know that I'll ever actually carry a gun anywhere.  Maybe it is just the knowing that I could. 

Or maybe it was more of a defense thing for me.  I wanted to be confident in shooting, like if anyone ever broke into my house or anything.  Which, by the way, if they did they have about a 70% chance of being shot if they stand absolutely still.  So I'm not a sharp shooter.  Meh.

Actually, the more I think about it, maybe it is best that I leave all firearms at home.  I would be considerably more dangerous with a weapon on the road.  Just the other day I threatened to bust some guys windshield because he cut me off and almost hit me. 

Long Commute = Serious Case of the Road Rage

Well, at least in my case it does.  Thank God for my homemade Glee soundtrack.  I can just turn it up, belt out a few tunes, and my troubles melt away  ::sigh::    Because who doesn't feel better when they hear Lea Michelle and Chris Colfer sing "Get Happy," a la Judy Garland?

I Got The Funk

I've been struggling with what to write today.  I was going to talk about how super cold it is- 16 degrees when I left my house this morning.  Mainly because I'm too cranky to write about anything awesome. 

I haven't felt very Christmasy this year.  We put our tree up late.  Little J has been fighting some kind of cold/junky cough/crud since Thanksgiving.  Jax and I had not been able to catch a moment to sit down and figure out where we are going and when and what we are doing for Christmas (past tense because we actually made some time last night while cooking dinner).  My Christmas dishes are still put up in the pantry.  I haven't been shopping.

I guess in a way it is the usual Christmas hustle and bustle, but it has left me in quite a funk.  To say the least.

Then I read Blair's post today.  Y'all, it almost made me cry.  I highly suggest you read it if you have been in a funk like I am.  It was one hell of a wake up call.

I have warm clothes and a cozy house to come home to. 

I have an amazing family to share the holidays with. 

I have the money to pay my bills and put food on the table

and still buy nice gifts for the people I love.

I wish I could say that I would be so generous and thoughtful as she was.  More than likely, I would not.  Not because I wouldn't want to, but just because it would be too easy to ignore.  To be scared.  To come up with some excuse as to why it was probably a bad idea.  And it makes me sad.

But as much as it saddens me that my reaction would probably be the norm, it gives me hope.  With all of the drivers with road rage, angry shoppers, thiefs, and other bad things that come along with the holidays, there are people out there who still do good for others.  These people get it.

It isn't about trees or snow or sparkly lights.  It is about giving- and not necessarily Christmas presents.  It is about remembering why we celebrate this holiday.  It is inspiring.

Starting right now, I'm going to do my best to put all of my petty crap aside and enjoy this time.  I'm going to get out of my Christmas funk and get into the Christmas spirit*.  I'm going to enjoy it, and maybe do something nice for someone else.

*I totally feel like now would be the perfect time to break out the pom poms.   I mean, I did say SPIRIT!  But I'll spare you.

The Stockings Were Hung

... on the deer antlers with care.  'Cause that's how we roll.  Seriously.  We are still remodeling and don't actually have a mantel yet, so deer antlers it is.  And here is our beautiful tree.  You can kind of see one of the deer hidden behind it.

Please excuse the decoration chaos/explosion/mess going on.

This weekend was really nice.  I got off work early on Friday, spent Saturday doing some cleaning and then went to our town Christmas party that night.  Mama and Daddy kept Little J, which means that not only did Jax and I get to sleep in on Sunday, but we had dinner prepared Saturday night and breakfast Sunday morning.  Perfection (thanks Mama).

Sunday was just fantastically relaxing.  There is nothing better than snuggling up with my little boy by the Christmas tree and watching a movie.  Have y'all seen Enchanted?  So stinkin' cute.  I love it.  Unfortunately, Little J is one of those people who wants to chit chat through the whole movie, or sleep. 

So sleepy, but completely fascinated by the tv.

He doesn't really care to be rocked, which is usually a good thing since it means he goes down for naps and bed at night really well.  So having him fall asleep in my arms on Sunday was wonderful.  Everything was all warm and snuggly and bunny rabbits and ice cream cones- or wine, whichever you prefer.  And y'all know me, I prefer wine.

Oh, and speaking of being lazy relaxing, Couch 2 5K got put on hold when I was sick a couple of weeks ago.  I have yet to resume.  Is it crazy to think that I'm going to start this before the end of the year and be successful?  I mean, most people just make it their New Years Resolution and then fail.  Why am I determined to get my fail on during the most wonderful time of the year?

A Social Misfit

Good Lord, I haven't posted anything since Monday?  I feel like I've been at work for a month, so I'm not sure why I have neglected y'all.  Oops, sorry!  I promise that I'm going to make it up to you VERY soon, though.  Hint:  I have a nice little Christmas present for one very lucky reader.

So... I have a confession to make.  If you know me in real life, then you already know this to be true.  I am horribly unfunny.  And awkward.  A social misfit, if you will. 

I'm not good at meeting people or interacting with people I don't know.  It is almost an out of body experience.  I can feel my voice getting higher.  It is almost as if I channel some sort of odd Valley Girl/Teenager/Stand Up Comedian Who Isn't At All Funny.

No lie.  The funny thing is that I know I'm doing it and just can't stop myself.  Or I will tweet something or post something on Facebook- usually these occur after a glass of wine or two- and totally regret it in the morning.

Sorry y'all.  I'll never be the cool kid in school.  I'm not outgoing.  I don't like being in a room full of people I don't know.  It makes me feel sick.  Upon graduating high school, a girl in one of my classes told me that she always thought I was snotty because I didn't talk to anyone.  It took her four years to realize that I was actually a nice (totally cool and fun) person.  Ah, the drama.

But there is a lesson to learn here.  If you are a social misfit, like me, one day you will find someone who appreciates your quirkiness.  Someone will laugh with you, not just AT you.  Although, in my case, they are usually laughing AT me, too.  No biggie.  One day someone will get it.

This post is perfect.  It is awkward, just like me.  And if you would like more of my random awkwardness, don't forget to check me out on Twitter (@ajakz)!  It is live, in your face, action 24/7.  Okay, not really that cool, but whatevs.

Tomorrow is FRIDAY!  Can I get a "hells yeah" for the weekend?
*And don't forget to check back soon for my first giveaway!!!

Five Things I Can't Live Without

*I'm referring to material things.  Obviously, this does not include my family, my dog, or my shoes.

1.  Proactiv Green Tea Moisturizer:  Smells great and feels even better!

2.  Ouchless Rubberbands:  As soon as I walk in the door in the evenings, my long hair goes in a ponytail.  It stays this way much of the time, unless I'm actually getting dressed to go somewhere.

3.  Yellowtail Wine:  My "every day" wine.  Not expensive and comes in massive size bottles.  I prefer the cabernet-merlot or the pinot grigio.

4.  Rainbow Hemp flip flops:  I love my leather Rainbows, but the hemp are my new faves.  The lighter color just looks really nice and they are less expensive- score!

5.  MAC Bronzer in Golden:  I love looking like I have a little bit of sun on my face and this totally does the trick.

**I am obviously not being paid to promote these products.  I just like 'em.

I Am Thankful

Which is pretty much why I didn't post anything yesterday.  I was too busy getting my thankfulness on.  Actually, I was shuffling around my house trying not to be sick, then going to the In Law's, then traveling to see my parents. 

It was SO much fun watching the Macy's parade with Little J.  Okay, he didn't really watch much of it, but I will always have the memory of sitting on the ottoman holding him while Santa Claus rode in to town on his big sleigh.  Little J's first Thanksgiving/Christmas... sigh.

As I sit with my family, happily typing away on my Daddy's laptop, I would like to say that I am also thankful to you for reading my blog and leaving me such nice comments.  It makes me feel good.  I enjoy writing, even if there are only a few people to share it with.

So, thank you.  I truly hope that you all enjoy a wonderful holiday with your loved ones.  And that you are lucky enough to have someone who cooks as good as my Mama does. 

I'm Sick

And Sexified- you know, like Ke$ha?  I'm totally hott in my old t-shirt and pajama pants, sitting around my house watching soaps.  Sorry, no hot pants and stockings ripped all up the sides.

It is an early vacation, y'all!  Now if only I didn't have a raging fever, chills, aches, nausea, and overall grossness.  Strep throat.  My mortal enemy.  It seems to get me pretty much every year.  So, I'm at home illin'.  Right?

Well, I've got nothing today.  Oh, except that Jax told me yesterday that some friends of his bought something on Craigsface.  Huh?  CraigsFACE?!  Really?

Jax has also just been diagnosed with strep, so we will both be hanging around the house tomorrow.  Maybe I'll get another gem that I can share.  Craigsface.  Geez.  Oh, and please say a prayer for Little J that he doesn't catch this.

Mozerella Chicken and Veggies

Want to eat healthy during this Thanksgiving week before you chow down on the turkey, stuffing, and pie?  Need a fairly easy recipe that doesn't taste like cardboard?  I would be more than happy to share one of my faves.  Unfortunately, I can not take credit for this masterpiece.  It is borrowed from the Beachbody message boards.  And y'all, it RAWKS.

Jax and I ate this a good bit when we were doing P90X. 

Mozzerella Chicken and Veggies

4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
salt
pepper
basil
shredded mozzerella cheese
onion
2 green bell peppers
jar of mushrooms
1/3 cup white wine

Slice a nice deep pocket into the chicken breasts and stuff with cheese.  Secure with toothpicks.  Season each side with salt, pepper, and basil.

Sautee onion and peppers in a bit of olive oil.  When veggies are tender, add chicken.  Brown on each side for 2-3 minutes.  Remove chicken from pan and bake on 350 for 15 minutes (or until chicken is cooked through).

While chicken is in the oven, add mushrooms and wine to the veggies.  Cook on low.  When chicken is finished, add back to the veggies until you are ready to eat.  I usually serve this with brown rice. 

This recipe is SO good and very healthy!  Try it and let me know what you think.  And while you are cooking, finish off that bottle of white wine!

Half a Pot of Coffee, a Bum Knee, and Bad Shoes

BAD SHOES?!  For shame, I know.  However... Week 1, Day 1 of Couch 2 5K is complete!  It didn't kill me, but it was a nice reminder that I have a bad knee from an old dance injury. 

The shoes are not helping.  They are super old, but cute.  Unfortunately, this is the one time that cute doesn't cut it.  Anyone have any suggestions for good running shoes?  Hey, shoes are shoes, and I'll take any excuse to buy new ones.

The weekend is off to a great start for me!  Hope the same is true for you!

Vote: I Need Some Honesty People, Please

Gerber Baby- Yes or No?

Stunning resemblance, no?

I am SO not one of those moms.  A few days ago I tweeted about a mom entering her child into 137 million baby pageants and how crazy I thought it was.  It just isn't my thing.  But doesn't Little J look like he would make an awesome Gerber Baby?

And did I tell you there is money involved?  No?  I mean there is like a one in eleventy billion chance that he will win, but it is a $25,000 scholarship.  That smart boy is going to need some schoolin' one day even though he is most assuredly a genius.

Help me decide- Yes, No, or Little J Will Probably Cut You One Day?

I'm Going Straight to Hell

Probably for a multitude of reasons, but we will stick with one today.  And for those of you who know you are going with me, if you head down first please keep the keg cold*.  Smashing.

I'm lazy.  That is totally a sin, right?  Wasting the precious amount of time that we have on this earth.  Actually, I think sloth has a little more to do with being lazy in your spiritual life, but whatevs. 

Yep, that is me.  Lazy.  I finished my MBA while I was in my last few days (yes, days) with Little J.  Then I finished my Certificate in Healthcare Administration in the first few weeks of his life.  And now?  I do nothing.  Nothing but sit behind a desk and hope that the career of my dreams with come bursting through the computer screen and smack me in the face at any moment.

And I sit.  Then I drive... an hour and a half each way to work every day.  I sit.  I'm lazy.  Lazy in my physical activity, lazy in my intellectual thought processes.  I'm wasting my time and wasting away.

Oh, and did I mention that I am unhappy with my weight?  Well, realistically, what woman isn't?  I still have several- and we will leave it at that- pounds of baby weight to lose.  At what point can you no longer use the excuse, "I just had a baby?"  And trust me, sitting ALL.DAY.LONG will not make the pounds come off.  I've tried.

So to summarize, I sit on my fat ass all day thinking of nothing significant.  Which, come to think of it, is probably why I started this blog.  Because I'm bored.  I pretty much live for weekends when I can go out of town to football games or clean my house or something that makes me feel relatively normal.

This morning I told Jax that it was imperative that I change this routine, as much as I can at this point anyway.  Nothing can be done about work and the drive, but I do believe that I am going to attempt Couch 2 5K to lose the weight and tone up.  Several bloggers that I read are doing this and I'm thinking about trying it.  So much so that I downloaded the app onto my Blackberry this morning!  Yay for first steps!

Now, to be completely honest, I'm not the best runner.  I used to run, but I have a bad knee.  When I told my Mama about my plan the conversation went something like this:

Me:  I know you are going to say this is a bad idea, so why don't we skip the dramz and get down to business.  I'm going to attempt to start running again.

Mama:  I'm not going to say it is a bad idea.  I fully support you.  Just remember that you have a bad knee.

Me:  Aww shucks, Mama!  Sugarysweetcupcakesprinkles!

Mama:  But honey, you run like Phoebe (from Friends, see blurry image below).  You just aren't very graceful.

The One Where Phoebe Runs, Season 6 Episode 7- Friends

Meh.  So what?  If I fall down or something I will be sure to post a pic of my battle scars.  And I'm sure that they will totally make me seem badass when I'm drinking draft in Hell.

*Y'all, I do go to church.  Swear.  Okay, I've missed a few Sundays, but I do still go.

I Love These Mieces to Pieces

Are you as excited as I am to see these guys?! 

'Twas The Night Before Christmas

I'm going to take your silence to mean that you are now dead because you died in a state of euphoria. 

Every year, I scour the DVR Search frantically for my favorite leetle mouse family, so that I can record, watch, and keep for months before I finally give up and resort to deleting and making room for more soap operas.  Gasp!  Shock!  Horror!  I know, right?

Finally, Amazon has given me a way out of this unfortunate predicament.  Y'all... I am now the PROUD owner of Twas The Night Before Christmas- 1974 TV Special by Rankin Bass.  On DVD even!  My heart is so full that it just might explode into a nasty mess all over my keyboard.  I will try to contain myself.

But for real, I will now be able to share my unnatural passion for this old as dirt take on the classic with Little J.  I hope that he loves it as much as I do.  And if he doesn't?  Tough cookies, kid.  We will watch anyway because Mama wants to ::sticks tongue out like a baybee child::

Oh, and if you happen to hear the fat man Ho Ho Ho-ing like he is going to bust his bowl full of jelly gut, it is because he just got my Christmas List.  And found out that I want an iPad.   

And some Louboutins... or Choos, I'm not picky.  Anything special on your Christmas list this year?

Mah Family

I guess the best place to start is at the beginning...
  

Brother, Daddy, Mama, Me

Doesn't that picture make my legs look skinny?  Yeah, I think so, too.  We are pretty tight-knit and share a love of all things Clemson, happy hour, and just hanging out together in general.  I sincerely lucked out in the family department.  I couldn't ask for better!

Then there is my dear, sweet, and extremely good-looking husband.  He is the epitome of southern and gentleman.  And he is very smart and good looking (did I say that already?).  Oh, by the way, he may also be an elected official one day, which is reason number 1,573 that I have chosen not to use our real names at this time.  So, we are going to call him Jax.  For those of you who know us IRL, the reason why is clear.  For those of you who don't, let's just say it is because he looks like this man:

Okay, maybe not exactly like that... blonder.

The other man in my life is my baby, Little J.  Every day he does something new and makes me think that he is the most brilliant child in the world.  For example, "Look y'all he is staring at his FEET!" or "He is playing with the toys on his jumperoo- heisaneffinggenius!!!"  Please don't ruin this perception for me.  However, if you aren't buying the high level of intelligence of my five month old, please revel in the cuteness- for it can't be denied:

That smile kills me.  And I told you Jax was really blonde. 

The only family member left is our sweet, baby dog.  His name is Duke.  No, really, that is his name.  I won't even try to make one up.  He is also very precious and the most lovable dog ever.  And yes, he is a pit bull:

Snuggling with his bunny.

More pictures to come in the future.  I mean, I can't spoil you too much right off the bat, right?  That and I know you are already on cuteness overload because of the baybee boy and the baybee dog.

These people, Duke also being people, are the best thing about me.  Period.  Well, maybe except for the time that I tripped over the table and almost broke my toe and they all laughed at me.  They totally suck for that.

It is Monday, people!  I hope you are all lively and ready to make this week your bitch.  Get out there and rock it!

Ode from Joy- Pimp Grits

I mentioned the blog Ghostman on 3 in my last post.  I do hope you clicked and read.  Joy is super awesome and has been one of my best friends for as long as I can remember.  Well, as long as I can remember isn't really that long because at some point the whiskey and scotch killed some brain cells that held my long term memory.  Yes, scotch.  Joy kept it in a sock under her bed when we were in high school.  Hi Mom and Dad.  Smoochies.  But I digress....

When I told her that I was going to start a blog, she asked if she could do a Foreword for me.  Since she is all kinds of brilliant, I immediately said HELL NO.  Seriously, because she makes me sound like I'm on a first grade reading level.  Then I backed down because she is way cool.  And because this foreword is the best.  And because she totally shares my sense of humor.  Even if she is way smarter than me.  You will forever be able to find her work of art by clicking the "About" tab.  You are welcome.

 Don't be scared.  She doesn't bite... hard.  And I let her feed my child.

After work I am off for a kick ass weekend of home-cooked barbeque and college football.  The morning mimosas are already calling my name!  Hope everyone has a great one!

An Introduction of Sorts... Finally!

I'm AJ, as I am sure you have gathered by now. 

Remember "Glamour Shots?"  Yeah, I'm not really a Glamour Shots type girl. 

I prefer much less serious (or tipsy) pictures.

Is that enough of an introduction?  I'm really not good with meeting people.  I would prefer to talk about others, if that is okay with you....

Three very different bloggers inspired me to start writing this blog.  One for her cheerful, positive attitude- which I sometimes lack- and because she has an adorable child.  One for her ability to make you laugh until you cry one day and then just plain make you cry the next- and because she has an adorable child.  And finally, One for her sheer brilliance and love for music and dogs- and because she is one of my best friends.

Obviously, I like kids.  Probably because I have one.  Guess what?  He is adorable.  Didn't see that one coming did you?  I will show you a picture- or maybe a million- at a later date.  Oh, and I like driving in the left lane (hence the most creative blog title EVAH).  Mostly because it drives my husband nuts.  I also like wine.  Very much.  But not while driving, of course.

I am very excited to overshare with the entire internets!  If you choose to stick around, you will be getting a healthy dose of the following:

• pictures of my kid
• pictures of my dog
• my opinon
• pictures of shoes 
• my thoughts on different wines
• potty mouth

Throw in some product reviews and possibly some giveaways and there you have it!  So grab a glass of vino, check things out, and I will do my best to entertain you! 

*A special thanks to Becca at Jumping Jax Designs for her amazing design work!  I'm computer stoopid.  Please keep that in mind.
**Mama and Daddy, if you are reading this, I will be sure to put a disclaimer on anything that might embarrass you.  I was raised right, y'all.  Swear.

It Won't Always Be This Way... I Hope.

Bear with me people.  I promise I'm going to actually write something worth (maybe) reading.  Let me give you a host of excuses- time change, work related drama, online shopping, vacation, more work related drama.  Take your pick.

Oh, and I do promise that I will try not to burden you with my dramz.  Okay, maybe every once in a while, but only to draw attention to specific issues.  Not just as they relate to me.  Pinkie swear.

Next up, my formal introduction.  By the way, I'm not good at meeting people, so this should be interesting.  I mean, I'm great at talking about myself, or otherwise I wouldn't be here, right?  But as for thinking of something non-douchebaggy to say, that is another story.  For example, I have been trying to write an email to someone I've never met for about a week now... simply because I don't know where to begin.

And then there is this rambling problem I have.  Now if only I could figure out a way to babble nonsensically about myself.  That might be one hell of an introduction!

Under Construction

Hey there!  I'm taking a little longer than planned to get everything up and running.  You will soon come to find that this is completely normal and to be expected from me.  I'm not setting the bar too high.  Don't have any great expectations.  Love ya, mean it.  XOXO